Thursday, November 15, 2007

Improper language

FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage
It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language. Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself. Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the following rules: 1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as "ese guiri de mierda". 2. Words like "coño", "hostia", and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is. 3. You will not say "la ha cagao" when someone makes a mistake, or "la está cagando" if you see somebody being reprimanded, or "¡qué cagada!" when a major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb "cagar" are inappropriate in our environment. 4. No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration Chief, will be referred to, under any circumstances, as "el hijo de la gran puta", or "el muy cabrón" or even "el comemierda". 5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to "falta de huevos" or "mariconería" nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever referred to "capullo" or "acojonado" 6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as "pajas mentales" in particular when they stem from your manager. 7. You will not say "cómo me jode" if a person is persistent, or "está jodido" or "se lo van a follar" if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words "qué jodienda" should not be used. 8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vete a tomar por culo", nor should you ever substitute the most educated "may I help you?" with "¿qué coño quieres ahora?" 9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as we are going through a difficult time should be used rather than "esto está jodido" or "nos van a follar a todos". Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say so and do not say "qué putada" or any expressions composed with the root "puta". 10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "subida de mierda".
11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say "me voy a limpiar el culo con ella" or "me la paso por el forro de los cojones". Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.

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7 Comments:

Blogger alvaro said...

Hay actitudes o comportamientos discriminatorios por prepotencia que molestan más que palabras malsonantes.De todas maneras esta muy feo usar esas expresiones,a no ser que ataquen las cosas mas sagradas que tiene una persona.En defensa propia ,vale todo.

5:31 AM  
Blogger Beatriz said...

Árbaro, uté tiene mas raçón kun santo de mi puegro, ke diçen ke hició mazo cosas wenas.

6:34 AM  
Blogger alvaro said...

Al parecer ha habido varios ataques a iglesias catolicas y a procesion de virgen en sevilla.Pero claro la iglesia catolica es como el boxeador que sale a recibir golpes.No como otras religiones que si se hacen respetar porque no tienen complejos y golpean a quien no las respete.El catolicismo en España va de victima y así se pierde siempre.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Dekarde said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:29 AM  
Blogger Dekarde said...

P.S.: In the wake of recent developments, we strongly recommend avoiding expressions as “¿Por qué no te callas?”, which shall be substituted with more polite (but by no means weaker) observations, as “Well... yes...in fact...”, and/or “Er..., thank you, sir, but...”.
Only in extreme cases shall be allowed extremely rude remarks, such as “We are not amused!”.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Jesús Sanz Rioja said...

Divertido. Ya se lo he pasado a la compa de Inglés para que disponga como quiera.

Por cierto, diría que el aumento en espiral del habla malsonante en España se debe en gran parte a las traducciones de las películas de tiros. Ya que somos brutos, si encima nos animan...

4:42 AM  
Blogger El Niño de B said...

Aquilino! Como inglés comportado, nunca aprendí todas las frases citadas! mas oí falar así muchos espanõles. Ahora en el Brasil escucho falar así (en portugués) muchos brasileños! Gostei muito do seu sentido de humor, então. Tcháu!

5:00 AM  

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